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Rediscovering Romance: Tips for Dating Etiquette the Second Time Around

After experiencing a significant life event such as death or divorce, jumping back into the dating pool can be daunting. Before boldly taking the plunge into the dating world, take time to heal and become comfortable being alone. When you are ready- these tips will give you a smooth start toward finding love again.

The Wait

In Emily Post’s day, options were black and white when it came to dating after a spouse's death or divorce. In 1905, Emily herself was a divorced woman but had not yet become the authority on etiquette that she is today. Fast forward to today-the options vary greatly; everyone handles such a situation in their way and there truly is not one right answer. Some people take years before they feel ready to start over while others need only weeks. Some even choose not to date at all While well-meaning friends may offer their opinions as to whether you should “get back out there,” it is up to you to decide what feels right for you and when you are ready.

Introducing Children

When introducing children to a potential new partner, on average, experts suggest waiting six months before doing so, giving them time to adjust. Furthermore, consider how an introduction could affect your children emotionally; if they feel overwhelmed or anxious about it, wait until they are more comfortable.

Don’t Dwell

Talking about past relationships may come up naturally in conversation but try not to overshare and keep conversations lighthearted and positive. This will help avoid awkwardness and tension to create a healthier environment to get to know each other better.

Who Pays?

Figuring out who should pay for the date can be tricky. In general, etiquette dictates that whoever invites is responsible for the bill. Of course, if both parties agree to split it, that is okay too. Dates don't have to be complicated. In fact, the simpler, the better! Try meeting for a coffee or going for a walk.

Looking for love

When searching for someone special, establish connections with people through friends and acquaintances who can vouch for them personally. Also, consider taking classes or going on group outings that will allow you to meet new people in a safe environment without too much pressure. If you decide to go the route of online dating apps, be honest, don’t disclose too much personal information, and remember the golden rule.

Be selective

It is easy to get caught up in all the excitement of meeting someone new when starting to date again- but make sure that this person meets all your criteria (i.e., similar interests, communication style, and lifestyle choices). Additionally, make sure that they respect your boundaries. You deserve nothing less than happiness. Good luck out there!


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