Wedding Etiquette Traditions We Can Skip

A couple exchanges rings at a wedding

Weddings today look very different than the ones our grandparents had. They tend to be more formal, more expensive, and often come with a full calendar of extra celebrations. A picture-perfect proposal, couples showers, and bachelorette weekends have replaced the simpler traditions of the past.

The good news is that not every tradition is worth the stress or the price tag. Modern etiquette gives couples the freedom to decide what truly matters and leave the rest behind.

Here are a few traditions you can skip without guilt.

Choosing Your Wedding Party

This is one tradition I wish I had skipped. When I got married, I felt like I had to include certain people in my wedding party just because I had been in theirs, and it caused me more stress than joy. You also don't need to follow old rules about who stands on which side. A woman can stand with one partner, a man can stand with the other, or you can have a mix of both. Your wedding party should simply be the people who matter most to you at this moment in your life, whether that is a best friend from college, a sibling, or even a grandparent.

Mailed RSVP Cards

I still love a paper invitation. I have not gone all in on electronic wedding invites and probably never will. But I do think it makes sense to let guests RSVP online. It saves paper and points everyone to the wedding website, where you can share extra details and updates. If your mom worries that older relatives might not use the site, let her reach out with a quick phone call to gather their responses.

Plus Ones for Everyone

Weddings are expensive, and couples don't have to extend a plus one to every single cousin or friend. If someone is in a committed relationship or living with a partner, both names should be on the invitation. Otherwise, it's fine to invite someone solo — and who knows, your wedding might just spark another love story.

Bride's Side or Groom's Side

This tradition has faded for good reason. A wedding is about two families and groups of friends coming together, not sitting apart. Even the signs that say "Pick a seat, not a side" have done their job and now feel less necessary. Guests already understand they are welcome to sit wherever they feel comfortable, which helps create a warm and inclusive celebration.

Flowers Gone Wild

Flowers are beautiful, but they are also expensive and temporary. Many couples are finding creative ways to scale back, like using greenery, candles, or dramatic lighting to set the mood. Some even choose to skip flowers altogether. No matter what you decide, remember the focus will always be on you.

The Favor Fix

Guests will not miss an engraved tea light candle or a koozie with your initials. Favors are never required. If you do want to offer something, keep it consumable. At our wedding, we gave out chocolate-dipped fudge from a local candy store. They disappeared in a flash, and it became a tradition that we still get the same fudge for an anniversary treat. More recently, I attended a wedding with a photo booth that sent images straight to our phones. It was a perfect memento.

Cake Cutting

I have been to weddings where the cake cutting stopped the fun right in the middle of the evening, or came out so late that half the guests had already left. Some couples are now quietly cutting the cake so that guests can enjoy dessert without stopping the party.

Bouquet and Garter Toss

Many couples are moving away from these traditions, and that is perfectly fine. Not everyone is excited to catch a bouquet, and the garter toss doesn't appeal to every crowd. Still, if these are moments you've always pictured for your wedding, enjoy them. Just keep it lighthearted and optional so guests don't feel like they must join in..

Asking for Cash

Asking for money at weddings has become much more common and accepted. The key is to make it personal. Let guests know what their gift will help you do, whether that's taking a honeymoon adventure or saving for a first home. When people feel connected to how their gift will be used, it feels thoughtful rather than transactional. It's still a good idea to offer both cash and traditional gifts in a range of prices so guests have options.

Thank-You Notes: The One-Year Myth

I am not sure how this one got started, maybe because it's what people wanted to hear. However, the couple should send thank-you notes within three months of the wedding. If you miss that mark, don't give up. It is never too late to send one,

Guests Have a Year to Send a Gift

This myth needs to be retired, too. The best time to send a gift is within a few weeks before or after the wedding. A year after the ceremony is too long, and by then, the couple's needs will likely have changed.

Your Checklist for Traditions

When you're not sure whether to keep or skip a tradition, run it through this quick checklist: Does it add meaning for both of us? Does it make our guests feel comfortable? Can we afford it? If the answers are yes, keep it. If not, cross it off that arbitrary wedding must-do list.