20 Questions I Got Asked During My Most Recent Business Dining Etiquette Class

One of my favorite parts of teaching business dining etiquette is the questions.

I recently had the opportunity to teach a group of dental students preparing for job interviews, networking events, and the business meals that come with moving from student to professional. We covered everything from place settings to tipping, but as always, the questions made the class.

My biggest piece of advice is to treat every meal as an opportunity to connect. Knowing a few etiquette basics will make it easier to focus on the people in the room instead of what to do next.

Here are 21 of the questions they asked, along with my answers.

What If I Arrive Before My Host?

If you've been invited to a meal and you arrive before your host, congratulations! You're early. It's polite to wait in the lobby or waiting area until your host arrives. Let them check in with the restaurant, greet everyone, and lead the way to the table. This gives your host the opportunity to take care of any details before the meal begins and welcome everyone before you're seated.

How Do I Know What to Order?

Look for a meal that's in the middle of the menu's price range. If your host suggests a particular dish, take a quick look at its price. That will give you a good idea of the price range they're comfortable with.

It's important to leave your host impressed by your good manners, not feeling taken advantage of. Save the surf and turf for another day.

When Can I Have a Glass of Wine or Cocktail?

If you're on a job interview, I would not order alcohol, even if your host orders a drink. There's just no upside.

For other business meals, if you're ordering before your host, choose a nonalcoholic beverage. If your host later orders a cocktail or glass of wine and you'd like one too, let your server know you'd like to change your order.

If you didn't take my earlier advice not to imbibe, please take this. Follow the one-drink rule. Don't order a second cocktail or glass of wine. Trust me.

How Do I Decline Alcohol?

When someone offers you alcohol, and you don't want it, you can simply say, "No, thank you." That's it.

Can I Take My Jacket Off?

My best advice is to keep all your clothes on during dinner.

If you're wearing a jacket, you'll look more polished if you keep it on throughout the meal. It's also one less thing you might leave behind.

Which Fork Do I Use For Salad?

Use the smaller fork. Ninety-nine percent of the time in the U.S., that's going to be the fork on the outside. Then work your way in with each course.

Which Glass Is Mine? 

Your water glass is above your knife on the right. A quick trick to remember your place setting is BMW. Bread on the left, Meal in the middle, Water on the right.

Can I Cut My Salad?

You bet. If the leaves are too large to neatly fold with your fork, use your salad fork and entrée knife to make a few cross-hatch cuts. You don't have to cut it to bits, just make it manageable.

Then comes your next challenge. Find a place to rest your knife on your plate so the blade doesn't end up back on the table.

Do I Really Put My Pinky Out?

This was probably my favorite question of the class. With all the confidence in the world, one student asked, "So...when do we put our pinkies out?" Here's the answer. You don't.

It's something we see in movies and cartoons, not at real dinner tables. So keep those pinkies tucked, my friend.

Is It Okay to Share Food?

Two students, who were also friends, asked if it was okay to share food or offer something from their plates. Between friends at brunch, sure. During a business meal or more formal dining situation, I'd keep the food on your own plate.

What If I Sneeze?

A sneeze is a red alert, all-hands-on-deck situation. Whatever you can do to spare your fellow diners from seeing what's projecting out of your nose, do it. If that means sneezing into your elbow, using your napkin, or covering your face with your hand, do it.

Afterward, you can excuse yourself to the restroom to clean up. If your napkin has done more work than expected, ask your server for a fresh one.

What Happens If I Drop My Fork?

Typically, an attentive server will hear or see the fork fall and bring you a new one. If they don't notice it, ask for another fork the next time you can get their attention.

I know it's tough to resist the urge to clean up after yourself because you're a good person, but this is one of those times when you should leave the work to the professionals.

What If I Finish Before Everyone Else?

It's best to keep pace with your host and the other diners so everyone experiences the meal together. If you notice you're eating much faster than everyone else, slow down, set your fork down between bites, and enjoy the conversation.

Should I Stack the Plates?

This question sparks conversation every time I teach a dining etiquette class.

My official answer is no. Let the server do their job. They know how to clear and stack the dishes, and unless you've worked at that very restaurant, you probably don't.

Should I Tell Someone They Have Something in Their Teeth?

I love this question because I get to answer it with another question. Would you want someone to tell you if you had something in your teeth?

Almost everyone says yes. If you agree, you are hereby obligated to do the same for someone else. How you do it matters. Be discreet and use the universal gesture instead of announcing it across the table. Your goal is to save them from an embarrassing moment, not create one.

Should I Finish Everything on My Plate?

Today, there aren't any hard-and-fast rules about leaving a bit of food on your plate, and there aren't any extra points for being a member of the clean plate club. Whether you eat every bite or leave a few behind is entirely up to you.

Can I Send My Meal Back?

If you receive the wrong meal, a meal that is not cooked correctly, you can send it back to the kitchen. If it poses a safety risk to you, absolutely send it back. If you just didn’t read the menu carefully enough and you missed an ingredient that you really don’t care for, that’s on you. I’d be very careful and go to great lengths not to send anything back in a business-meal setting.

What Do I Do With My Napkin When I'm Finished?

When you're finished with your meal, place your napkin loosely to the left of your plate. There's no need to refold it. Just set it beside your plate before you leave the table.

Can I Take Leftovers Home?

When we're in a business dining situation, I don't recommend taking leftovers home. We never want to give the impression that the meal was more important than the person. There may be an exception if your host encourages everyone to take home a to-go box, but in general, I'd leave the leftovers behind.

When and How Much Should I Tip?

For full-service dining, I recommend tipping 20%.

What you tip in other situations can be a little murkier, so I'll lean on the recommendations from my friends at the Emily Post Institute.

• Counter service - $1 or $2

• Takeout - Around 10%

• Delivery - Around 10% or more, depending on the service

I hope these questions helped answer a few of your own. If you have a dining etiquette question I didn't answer, I'd love to hear it. Leave a comment or send me a message. It just might become part of a future class or blog post.

And before you go, don't forget to grab this month's free Business Dining Etiquette Guide. It's full of practical tips to help you feel more confident at your next business meal.