The Little Things People Notice Right Away

Good first impressions are usually a lot less about having the perfect elevator pitch and more about having genuine curiosity and the ability to listen.

The little things people notice right away are often surprisingly simple, and thankfully, most of them can be practiced.

So before your next networking event, wedding reception, or company retreat, take a little time to think about how you manage these small but important habits.

A woman shaking hands at a networking event.

Carry yourself with confidence.

People are naturally drawn to someone who takes up an appropriate amount of space. Not shrinking into the background or wildly waving their arms around trying to capture attention. Roll your shoulders back, lift your head, and let your body language show you are comfortable being there.

Eye contact counts

If you follow along with me regularly, you know this one was coming. Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to help people feel acknowledged and respected. If it feels uncomfortable, practice it until it becomes more natural. And if you meet someone who struggles with eye contact, do not immediately assume they are disinterested. Look for other signs they are trying to connect with you.

Free your hands

Your hands help you connect with people. They are there to greet someone with a handshake and gesture naturally during conversation. Hands in pockets or arms crossed across your chest can make you seem less approachable, even when that is not your intention.

Put the phone away 

Retreating into your phone is basically people repellent. Watch the game later. Check social media afterward. When you are given the gift of being around other people, be with those people.

Remember names

Remembering someone’s name can leave a bigger impression than having the perfect conversation. I once remembered a man’s wife’s name after meeting her briefly, and he stopped mid-conversation. “I can’t believe you remembered her name.” People notice when you pay attention.

If remembering names is difficult for you, try not to announce it every time you meet someone. Saying “I’m terrible with names” may feel harmless, but it can unintentionally make people feel forgettable. Instead, focus on improving the skill. Listen carefully when someone introduces themselves instead of thinking ahead to what you want to say next. Make associations and use their name naturally a few times during the conversation.

Be a connector

Introduce people and mention shared interests. Maybe they both have kids who play golf, love trying new restaurants, or work in similar fields. People remember the person who helped them feel included and important enough that someone thought, “You two should know each other.”

Listen more

During my training at The Emily Post Institute, they told a story about a man everyone wanted to meet at a party. People kept saying, “Oh, you have to meet Joe.” Someone finally asked Joe how he became so popular, expecting some brilliant networking strategy. Joe simply said, “I just ask people about themselves.”

Turns out that works surprisingly well. You don't have to dominate conversations to make a positive and lasting impression. Most people enjoy being around someone who makes them feel heard.

Choose positivity

Misery may love company, but people don't. When you look for opportunities to bring positive energy to the conversation, you instantly become more likable.

Instead of:

"Work has been a nightmare."

"Did you hear what happened to so-and-so?"

"This place is so crowded."

Try:

"It's nice to see you."

"What's been the highlight of your week?"

"What was the best part of your day so far?"

It won't always work

If you leave an interaction thinking, “Wow, I really blew that,” there is a good chance other people barely noticed. Most people are too busy thinking about their own awkwardness to focus on yours.

Make a mental note of what did not seem to land and try again next time. First impressions matter, but every conversation after that gives people another opportunity to see who you are beneath the surface.

Final thoughts

First impressions matter, but every conversation after that gives people another opportunity to see who you are beneath the surface. Sometimes those future interactions happen by chance, but if you meet someone you would like to know better, do not leave it to chance.

Send the email. Make the call. Write the note. Invite them to connect again.

The people with the strongest relationships are not always the ones who make the splashiest first impression. More often than not, they are the ones who take the next step and follow up.