Confidence at the Table: Dining Etiquette for Real Life

Recently, I spent a week in Burlington, Vermont, training with my friends at The Emily Post Institute. As a group of etiquette coaches, we spent hours talking about dining etiquette, and honestly, we could have gone on for days. We were there to learn and to hone our skills to teach others, so in that same spirit, I'm here to help you as you sit down for holiday dinners and throughout the year.

When you feel confident at the table, you can stop overthinking every move and actually enjoy yourself. And if you do make a mistake, like accidentally putting the serving utensil on your own plate (whoops), you can recover gracefully and move right along. That's the real beauty of etiquette. It helps you relax and connect.

Napkin Know-How

In a restaurant, your napkin goes on your lap as soon as you sit down. At someone's home, wait until your host places theirs first, then follow their lead. It's one of those small dining differences that's fun to know but not worth worrying about. If you forget, don't stress. Just place it in your lap when you notice others have. Fold the napkin in half, either into a rectangle or a triangle, and for extra points, place the fold toward your waist.

Understanding Utensils

Silverware can look intimidating, but I have a tip to make it more approachable. Picture the word FORKS spelled across your place setting:

• F – Forks on the left, with the smaller salad fork on the outside, the larger fork goes next to the plate

• O – The plate goes in the middle

• R – Reminder, the knife's blade faces toward the plate

• K – Place the knife next to the plate on the right

• S – Spoons go on the outside of the knives all the way on the right

  
  

Dessert utensils might appear horizontally above your plate or arrive later with dessert.

When you use your utensils to cut your entrée or sides, remember to cut one bite at a time. For salads with large pieces, you can make a few quick crosshatch cuts to make them easier to manage. The key to remember is that once a utensil is used, it doesn't go back on the table, as we're trying to be as tidy as possible

Bread and Beverages

Your bread plate is on the left, and your drink is on the right.

If you accidentally sip from someone else's glass, don't panic. Offer to trade if yours is untouched or ask for a fresh one. It happens more often than you'd think, so don't panic.

Connection

Here's what I tell every group I teach. People aren't watching you nearly as closely as you think. We're all just trying to figure it out.

The most important dining skill isn't about forks or napkins. It's about connection. Join the conversation, listen, and make others feel included. If you're unsure of what to do, watch others or ask.

We'll be breaking down more finer points of dining this month on social media, so be sure to follow along. And if you have a question about something at the table, I'd be happy to answer it.